So, I am in India right now. Beautiful country, beautiful people. But some of the most misguided, disoriented people I find here too. There is transformation of course, from the India of my childhood. But its not all good.
The innate culture of acceptance, tolerance and peace has been hijacked by right-wing fanatics (seems to be a world-wide problem). The quest for knowledge is now lost in the harried run for a placement in a college of the latest fad in professions. In a country that developed Ayurveda and Yoga, there is no commitment to conscious living or holistic healing at all.
But what is really disturbing is how trend-dependent people have become. How susceptible to magazine fads and advertising gimmicks. Yes, brands rule here. People automatically assume foreign cars are better. The more expensive something is, the faster it seems to sell. All value is directly proportional to monetary value. Also, any photoshopped image that catches the latest wave is the look they will all aspire to.
What is really galling is the total lack of acceptance of any individualism. Everyone can either be a doctor or engineer. Or die. The only face-cream you can get are 'fairness' creams. In India. Where fair skin is, in general, neither natural nor healthy. But superficiality has increasingly become the bane of living here. There is a despicable fixation on color and size.
Tell me, how is it possible that a person is defined only by how fair/dark/ tall/ short/ small/big he or she is is? What of mind and manners, of conversation and kindness?! Can you imagine making a lifetime commitment on a photograph? Yet it happens all the time here. Professional photographers are having a field day shooting potential brides and grooms. It baffles my mind because even that photo does not matter. The layers of cake batter or clay (I think) that the bride will have on her special day make her unrecognizable anyway!
How a person looks is the least impactful part of a personality. If we are to define our relationship and attitude on that, we are the ones at a loss.
No two people (except if they are from one split egg) are ever going to look exactly the same. The wonder of human creation is the amazing variety that it comprises. How we can arbitrarily say which shade or size is better? Yes, everyone will have preferences, though it does seem now even personal preferences are eliminated. When we get stuck in the media-designed bubble we lose our own ability to make decisions on what we like or don't. Among the amazing range of shades of skin, how can everyone just like 'fair'? I prefer light chocolate. When we cannot all have the same taste in home decor, if we cannot all like the same friends, then why do we tell little girls to stop eating just because the magazines have thinner models? The 'I care for your health' aspect is really a lie. There are perfectly healthy overweight people and very sick ideal-weight people. There are all kinds of short, and all kinds of fair. There are also all kinds of thin and tall. The idea of physical pulchritude is entirely subjective, and very fickle.
In a very short time here in this visit I have seen wonderful people being put down for their skin or for their BMI by others who have no business saying anything about them. That kind of empty unwanted speech comes from pure rudeness and superficiality from people who are really, really dumb. It takes a high level of stupidity to box someone into a category because of the how they look to you. How limited would your perception and understanding have to be to pass judgment on someone arbitrarily on one look - be it skin, figure, clothes or makeup? And how immature would you have to be to take what is portrayed in the general media, and accepted in a susceptible society, as the best look? I see it equally applied to clothes and cars. And I don't know if it is sad or amusing.
Its great to hear 'you look fabulous'. But we must learn to accept that the compliment is based on someone else's idea of fabulous, not necessarily ours, or even a third person's. Take it with grace and a pinch of salt. It is not you, it is their own vision they are acknowledging. You are fabulous all the time, whether dolled up or not, because it is the only you there is!
The innate culture of acceptance, tolerance and peace has been hijacked by right-wing fanatics (seems to be a world-wide problem). The quest for knowledge is now lost in the harried run for a placement in a college of the latest fad in professions. In a country that developed Ayurveda and Yoga, there is no commitment to conscious living or holistic healing at all.
But what is really disturbing is how trend-dependent people have become. How susceptible to magazine fads and advertising gimmicks. Yes, brands rule here. People automatically assume foreign cars are better. The more expensive something is, the faster it seems to sell. All value is directly proportional to monetary value. Also, any photoshopped image that catches the latest wave is the look they will all aspire to.
What is really galling is the total lack of acceptance of any individualism. Everyone can either be a doctor or engineer. Or die. The only face-cream you can get are 'fairness' creams. In India. Where fair skin is, in general, neither natural nor healthy. But superficiality has increasingly become the bane of living here. There is a despicable fixation on color and size.
Tell me, how is it possible that a person is defined only by how fair/dark/ tall/ short/ small/big he or she is is? What of mind and manners, of conversation and kindness?! Can you imagine making a lifetime commitment on a photograph? Yet it happens all the time here. Professional photographers are having a field day shooting potential brides and grooms. It baffles my mind because even that photo does not matter. The layers of cake batter or clay (I think) that the bride will have on her special day make her unrecognizable anyway!
How a person looks is the least impactful part of a personality. If we are to define our relationship and attitude on that, we are the ones at a loss.
No two people (except if they are from one split egg) are ever going to look exactly the same. The wonder of human creation is the amazing variety that it comprises. How we can arbitrarily say which shade or size is better? Yes, everyone will have preferences, though it does seem now even personal preferences are eliminated. When we get stuck in the media-designed bubble we lose our own ability to make decisions on what we like or don't. Among the amazing range of shades of skin, how can everyone just like 'fair'? I prefer light chocolate. When we cannot all have the same taste in home decor, if we cannot all like the same friends, then why do we tell little girls to stop eating just because the magazines have thinner models? The 'I care for your health' aspect is really a lie. There are perfectly healthy overweight people and very sick ideal-weight people. There are all kinds of short, and all kinds of fair. There are also all kinds of thin and tall. The idea of physical pulchritude is entirely subjective, and very fickle.
In a very short time here in this visit I have seen wonderful people being put down for their skin or for their BMI by others who have no business saying anything about them. That kind of empty unwanted speech comes from pure rudeness and superficiality from people who are really, really dumb. It takes a high level of stupidity to box someone into a category because of the how they look to you. How limited would your perception and understanding have to be to pass judgment on someone arbitrarily on one look - be it skin, figure, clothes or makeup? And how immature would you have to be to take what is portrayed in the general media, and accepted in a susceptible society, as the best look? I see it equally applied to clothes and cars. And I don't know if it is sad or amusing.
Its great to hear 'you look fabulous'. But we must learn to accept that the compliment is based on someone else's idea of fabulous, not necessarily ours, or even a third person's. Take it with grace and a pinch of salt. It is not you, it is their own vision they are acknowledging. You are fabulous all the time, whether dolled up or not, because it is the only you there is!
hi zeba
ReplyDeletefabulously written.But then again its my idea of fabulous and not yours . So take it with grace and a pinch of salt.* wink wink *
That is too smart! Love it, fabulous girl!
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