Missing Something ?

Have not all of us felt a pang of missing something so much it feels like a real loss? It could be a time in life, a place, a friend who moved away? The sweetly sad feeling of deprivation is equally strong whether it is a home you had or just something silly like a shampoo that was discontinued or a burger joint that closed down.

It leaves us sad, of course, but there is an underlying sweetness, a delight of having known that joy. And in line with that typical sadistic conundrum that life is, the sharper the joy was, the more painful its removal. The more something means to you, the more power it has to kill a part of you when it is torn away.

Imagine a person living blissfully on a lovely island, never having had sushi.Would he or she have cravings? Or feel deprived because they do not have the latest Gucci shoes? Someone was telling me the other day that the Prophet broke his fast with a date. Well, he hardly had much choice. There were no gulab jamuns or samosas for him. And it bothers me that people do not see this. People grow face fungus mostly because the prophet always had a beard. Well, he also traveled only by camel, so why not just take a camel to work? But that is another topic. Whatever your monetary status,say, in the 12th century, you would not have known what a car was. Today money can buy you a Fiskar or a Lamborghini. Of course, like the people in the aforementioned 12th century, I do not miss having either because I have no idea what it feels like to ride in, let alone own, one. And that is perfectly alright with me.Like my father said, when you upgrade be sure you do so to a level you can reasonably maintain because getting used to something new and better is fun, but getting used to not having it again is sometimes not possible. It is very much like sleeping on the perfect mattress for a few days- you will never be happy with anything less.

I think a lot of people today are discontented not because they lack, but because they know of stuff they do not have. With the information world exploding around us we know so much more, and that opens our eyes and hearts to possibilities of what we could have,and then what might want, and then, if we are not mature enough, what we must have. Of course there is a solution. There always is,and usually one just has to really want it to find it. What we need to do is accept that the world is full of lovely things and lovely places,and find joy in just knowing it is there. I am not pulling the solution out of thin air. It works. I know there are those gorgeous islands I will not be able to go to, but I feel joy in seeing the pictures. There is that Cartier necklace I will not buy ,but it is such a thing of beauty, I am happy to have seen it. Of course if  I could pass by cupcakes with the same joy of just looking instead of hogging on them, my size might be different, ( and some old woman in some hillside Chinese village may never know, and therefore never want a cupcake)! 

With knowledge and information exploding around us and world becoming so much smaller, the number of things we do not have seems to grow everyday. Information is never a bad, too much or too little. It is how we use it that matters. If it increases our dissatisfaction with what we have, it also propels change. It shows people what could be, what they could do, and what they could have. The drive for freedoms from dictatorships would not have been as strong if people could not see, and know, what freedom feels like. Movies, media, internet everything conspires towards change, whether personal ( that university abroad you apply to, or that Facebook friend who opens news doors) or national. ( the 'Arab Spring')

Sometimes we miss something because it was with us, and sometimes we miss something because we know we could/would/might have had it. Whether it is as inane as a disgustingly expensive purse you see in some silly fashion magazine, or hear of the fabulous healthcare system in another country, you could always use the pang to drive yourself to better your situation. Enjoy the fact that it exists (or existed), or work towards getting it ( back) for yourself.