Not ok

 Nowadays every spiritual development book I read seems to tell us how everything is eventually ‘alright’. That just makes me angry.  First of all, ask the people in Gaza, Ukraine, and in many parts of Africa what difference spiritual strength makes. Ask people who are going bankrupt fighting their disease how it’s ok because “it’s meant to be”.

No, it’s not ok. It is not as it’s “meant to be”.  Wrong is wrong; Injustice has no redeeming qualities, not for the bearer and certainly not for the perpetrator. But it happens. 

The anguish of broken hopes is not right. When dreams are shattered, your soul is damaged. Permanently. There is no way it is good for you, or for the world around you. But it happens. More than we want it to, more than we expect it to. 

The pain of loss is not ‘for the best’. How can pain be for anyone’s betterment! It does not strengthen you (see my earlier write-up). Pain happens because what is gone — person, place or thing — is irreplaceable. Loss teaches you nothing, except that it happens, and that it hits you hard — expected or not, and whether the process of disengagement is slow or quick.

But, it happens. That is the only truth. That is the crux of the matter. We cannot, and should not, codone this defeatist attitude. We must not ignore, or even downplay, the grief. However much our knees give way, we have  to stand up for the what is left of us.

Where there is pain, let us heal by grabbing and spreading joy with friends and strangers alike. Where there is loss, let us try to repurpose our living to rebuild without what was. Where there is nothing ahead, let us course-correct, and be brave enough to look through the forest of doubts and fears to make our own path.

No, it’s not ok. But it happens. And every time we must find a way to deal with it.