Indistinct Distinction

Why is the system here so keen on making sure every person is special?? In the movie, 'The Incredibles' the mother tells her son, Dash, that everyone is special. Interestingly, the movie traces the story of heroes with superpowers who are not like everyone.

In classrooms across the country well-meaning, misguided teachers will not tell little children that they are wrong. A teacher is supposed to say "that is an interesting way to look at it", or at worst, "oh that is not entirely correct". When are you going to tell the child he is wrong? If he says that Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandmother's house to pay Scrabble - it is wrong! It is not in the story. Ask the student to write another story about Red Riding Hood and Scrabble. Do not play around with his brain saying he is right when he is not. I make it point to say, "No, that is incorrect" when I have to. I swear that children beam much more when they do finally get it right. I point out those kids who have done their work really well, but I am never going to go crazy trying to find something to say about every work that is placed in front of me. It is important for us to learn that treating everyone fairly is VERY different from treating everyone equally. I prefer being fair.

When it comes to work, by children or adults, treating everyone equally is not equitable. How can we condone this injustice to the really special individual? What motivation is left for anyone to try anything? The really extraordinary child will not be motivated to show his talents because it gets the same reaction as everyone else's mediocre accomplishments. The average kid is not going to be motivated to work harder and reach for the stars because he is content with where he is! This desperate, injudicious desire to evaluate everyone with the same yardstick-and blanket everyone with the same determination- is one reason why American children are unable to compete with the Asian children. In India, you have to prove yourself. You are not special just because your parents think you are. In China you have to prove it even to your parents! We all know where those kids reach.

President Obama is concerned - as he should be - about Americans being left behind, as they are now, because our education system needs to be overhauled. Yes it does!! Finally a leader sees the truth! It is essential to understand that education does not start and stop with schools. Like Hillary Clinton's book says 'It takes a village'. So also it will take a whole societal change for the next generation to wake up to its full potential. When guests visit with children we are supposed to grant the same freedoms to the out-of-control spoilt brats that we do to well-behaved kids. Parents send their kids to parties because all kids go. Why not see if your child has the maturity to handle the trip to that NYC club? Its the same ridiculous concept-treat all children equally. Does that not go right against the undeniable truth that no two children are the same?

I could never stand the sight of Michael Phelps. Mainly because his swimming trunks are offensively low on his hips. But what really ticked me off was his reaction on winning the record-breaking gold medal. He pumped his fist in the air and there was a disgustingly wild look in his eyes. But I also see where that arrogant aggression may have come from. Of course he is special (yes, even with that sartorial debacle of a swimsuit), but I am convinced all his coaches/teachers would not not have given him the acknowledgment he needed. Or gave him as much as they gave to lesser swimmers. Obviously he needed to shove his victory into the faces of the millions watching him. Any surprises he turned to drugs? I am not a psychologist - but someone with that kind of learning really needs to address this (Faisal?? Remember the theory has my patent!!;))

It is unacceptable that we play down the specialness of the gifted. But the attempt to make everyone feel exceptional is worse. Mrs. Incredible, like so many American teachers and parents, has it all wrong. EVERYONE IS NOT SPECIAL. And by pretending that they are, we are doing a terrible disservice to to those who actually are, and an even more terrible deception to those who are not. How can it be right? Does it make anyone feel, or be, better? Certainly not me. Tell a child the unvarnished fact - the honest truth about what he is - maybe he is a little slow in reading, maybe he cannot run. He has to learn limitations if only to deal them. Or maybe to overcome them. But do not say that he lost the race because the shoes were too tight. Or the killer phrase "It does not matter who won, you ran your best". Any idiot who has run a race knows it matters who won. Teach the child to appreciate a winner and be gracious about losing. It makes the winner feel good - and he deserves it. It makes the slower ones feel good, and they need it too.

I know there is always some talent that is unique to each one, some niche in which a person can excel. But one can never find it if we gloss over everyone with the same brush. You did something fantastic if you struggled through geometry and got it right, even if with a C. But that does not mean you are equal to the kid who breezes through with an A. Maybe the A geometry kid cannot write to save his life; well he is not special there, so do not tell him he is "good" in English class when he isn't. The volunteers in social work organizations deserve a lot of respect-but do not treat them on the same level as Mother Theresa. And just because I enjoy writing does not mean I deserve the Nobel prize for Literature. That is for someone actually special.

So please stop lying. Stop confusing kids. Stop telling them life is a bed of roses that will be laid out for them. How will we ever teach them the value of moral rectitude if we cover faults that are obvious. Dash's answer to his mother's forced and facile statement sums it all up ."Everyone's special, Dash," she says to him.To which he grumbles, "Which is another way of saying nobody is." Precisely!