Women and work

I am trying to figure out why women are generally such an unhappy bunch. I think it is because we have drifted so far away from our natural selves that every day has become a burden. We are unhappy because we never seem to achieve what we need. We do not achieve what we need because we do not seem to know what we want. We do not know what we want because we have our priorities all confused. And we have our priorities confused because we have lost track of the reason we were made: as WOMEN!

The role of women, and men, was designed by our genes. Our gender differences, aptitudes and weaknesses are dictated by our very beings. And whether it is a bane or a boon, the capacity to bring forth the next generation was given solely to women. A power much higher than our limited intelligence put that into effect. God, aliens, or selection by natural evolution if you must : the result was THIS. The primary responsibility of bearing and rearing children was given to the female of the species. It falls in the natural order of things that it is the female who is the homemaker too.

I believe that it is disservice to humanity if we belittle or dismiss a woman's role. It is even more destructive if women themselves denigrate their real purpose in life.

For the life of me, I have never ever understood where the glory lies when riding into the sunset of our lives trying desperately to match a man's career path. A man can never be another man, why then should a woman try to be a man?

I have inveighed against women and careers before - "Woman, be thyself!" But that does not mean I believe we should all be doormats or wallflowers. I am, of course, all for independence. If we look for independence outside ourselves we will only be following a mirage. The only independence that matters, that emancipates and strenghtens, is that of the mind. It is wonderful if you are learning, or earning. There is no substitute for either of them. Financial independence if always empowering. But do it for yourself, not for parents, or husbands, or friends, or fashion. I respect the woman who is out funding herself, or providing the necessary income for her family, just as I respect the man doing the same. The operative word here is necessary. And an extra car, a bigger bigger house or a backyard swimming pool certainly does not qualify as a necessity!

Real emancipation comes from confidence; a recognition of one's own strength, an understanding of one's function. However, the belief that women need to go out and compete with men in exactly the same fields, in exactly the same way, just because it is a male bastion, reeks more of subjugation to me than of liberty. It seems to me that women again are succumbing to pressure from society, which has always leaned more on us. We have always borne the brunt of the confines of societal rules. Women have been required to bring in a dowry that would determine their worth; now it has not changed to assumptions that women should bring in, if not the bread, at least some cake! We are, all over again, being forced into a mould that is not to our benefit. It is a facile proposition that self-actualization is dependent on a career. If the need to 'work' is predicated on a lack of self-esteem, or a desire to 'prove oneself', then even heading a multinational company is never going to be satisfying. We can not be free until we are free to think for ourselves. And adhering to images that others have created for us, and expect from us, is not liberation. I can understand throwing away corsets for a more humane form of undergarment, but then do we have to throw off all our clothes in the process? I value freedom and liberty more than anything else in life. It should apply to all aspects of life, to all strata of society, to all ages and gender of people. Women's liberation is not something as trite as burning bras, or arm-wrestling contests. It is an awakening of womanhood- in all its glory, in its own skin.

A quick, albeit superficial, observation of the world tells me those cultures are quicker to accept women leaders where women still mainatain, by and large, their traditional role. Sri Lanka, India, even Pakistan, have had women leading their countries. In the US, there is still tremendous reservation in the concept of having a woman for President. In a liberated society where women believe they can do exactly what they think they should, there is a startlingly large percentage of abused women. How horribly sad it is that there are, here in the United States of America, more shelters for animals than battered women! So wearing pants or having exactly the same crepuscular roles between men and women ("You want to do dishes or take out the garbage?" "will you pay for utility bills or groceries?") does not ensure contentment - or even respect.

Then there is the rant I hear often - “it is not fair” - everytime we learn that women are paid less, or hired based on looks. Let us face it. We will be judged by what we portray. We display our physical characteristics more, then it is those very characteristics that will be acknowledged first. And women do have other concerns they are respsonsible for. They do take off from work for children, to have babies, to get married. It is a fact. Employers will take that into account. Don’t go by averages and statistics. If individually your work is good, you will get the recognition - and the pay to match. Stop whining! Either accept your uniqueness and revel in it, or complain and make yourself unhappy. It will not change facts. The fact that the job market reflects the inherent, inalienable difference between a man and a woman, and their approach to any task, is a actually very fair.To be treated equally is not always fair. One must acknowledge differences and treat people accordingly.

We know we are special. Do not go about ruining it by making us 'equal'.