Honestly, honesty is overrated.

It is a lovely day in Orlando today. The kind that makes your fears disappear and lends hope to all your dreams. That Somalians are starving, that the flesh trade rages on, that the terrorism of racism gets stronger, and that world peace seems more distant than ever, seem like nightmares that do not apply here.

 And that, I think, is why people can immure themselves from problems. It is very difficult to imagine the pain of hunger when your food-related concern is the amount of artificial ingredients in that jar of jam you bought. I realize that our comfort is the reason we do not care. The horrors of war that children and women are enduring right now seem too far away, physically and emotionally. It is so easy to blame the victims, so easy to say 'they should have', 'they could have'. The 'them-not-us' concept helps us ignore our responsibility, and alleviate guilt. If we are really honest about out attitude, we would admit that we are unaffected by what happens an ocean away. And in all honesty, it really does not affect us today (though it will, eventually, because the world economy is intertwined). But human beings should, and usually do, more than what honest analysis of their situation dictates. 

It rankles my soul when people say things that are stupid or downright mean with the excuse of being honest. Honesty in itself is NOT a virtue, certainly not in communications. Integrity and probity in action and work is a different matter altogether, but being upfront in what we say is not always good, or even correct. Saying 'that is so stupid', even to something that is, does not help in anyway. And we all know that the " let me be honest- you look (insert something bad)" - is just a way to  being hurtful. 
News reporting is mostly honest. People cannot but help colour a situation with how they are looking at it. I am not bringing down journalism. I understand and respect the need to bring news out to the rest of the world. But honesty in reporting is so subjective. Different words in the headline for the same story can make all the difference. It is honest enough. But it is not the complete truth.  

Our society worships success - however it may come, and whatever repulsive way it exhibits itself.  'I am for me and the rest be damned' may be an honest mantra, but even saying it aloud is pure selfishness.The virtue would be silence, not honesty. Politics are always better served with diplomacy and restraint than with mindless candor. It takes intelligence and strength of character to subjugate our own needs and thoughts (yes, even our most honest thoughts) for the greater good.  Trump's supporters extol his honesty. If that is how you think, dishonesty would be much more preferable. 

Not being honest is different from being dishonest. Dishonesty is a voluntary conscious effort to mislead or harm. Not being honest is holding back on the truth of a situation or a feeling. Nazis putting forth their views are being honest. That does make them less disgusting or less deplorable. What would be decent and correct would be for them to be ashamed to put forth those defective ideas.

I believe always spewing out 'honest views'  that do not help anyone smacks of a lack of integrity and humanity. I pride myself on trying never to say what I don't mean, but there are lots of times I won't say anything at all when the truth of what I think is not right for the moment. 

We all have our views on who is likely to go to hell, or who is headed to eternal peace. Should we be honest and tell a dying man what we think? I believe in more cases than not, honest speech is best avoided. Kindness is what should rule our interactions. And we certainly don't need to be honest to be kind.