I am not sure if I should be angry with the obvious bias or sympathetic to the evident lack of coherent thinking. What is it with these so-called pundits and Obama-bashing?

So Obama bent a little bit to shake King Abdullah's hand. That is the proper etiquette to use to greet a Saudi king. Just as it is proper etiquette not to extend your hand to the Queen of England before she does. Just because most of us do not have any knowledge beyond what goes in our own towns (if that!), it does not mean our President should function at our level of emotional intelligence. Would you prefer a George Bush with the horrid smirk when he met anyone, and yet then went out of his way to protect the Bin laden family?

Cultures differ all over the world, and it takes open mindedness to work well with all of them. In all Asian countries making eye contact is disrespectful, in the US its a sign of weakness. In England you leave a little tea in your cup to show you have had enough, in most European countries you drink to the last drop to show you have enjoyed it. Thank God we NOW have a President who is mature enough to understand customs that are foreign to us, and wise enough to use them to his advantage.

America cannot assert its democratic principles if it cannot respect other nations, democratic or not. If we believe that equality is for all people we have to believe in the legitimacy of other peoples' norms and culture. Giving respect will only beget respect. It is the destructive arrogance that was encouraged by the previous regime, unfortunately, that blinds us to to this eternal truth.


President Obama is already setting us back on track to the moral high ground we have held for ages, till we were afflicted with the Bush-Cheney administration. We have to understand how the rest of the world began to hate us. That kind of fearful hate is like a tinder box in today's unstable world. One has to just read news from all over the world to appreciate how the slightly apologetic tone Obama used ameliorated that feeling. It takes a lot of confidence and bigheartedness to admit you were wrong. It takes downright nobility to make amends for mistakes someone else has made! And Obama is nothing if not noble.

Like every country and every community, we also have our fair share of retards - we have the likes of Hannity, O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck. After all the proof that it does not work, if someone can still justify torture of any human being, nay, any living creature, there has to be something seriously wrong in the processing ability of their brains. Anyone who has seen a few seconds of the water boarding 'demonstration tape' shown often on news channels and even then believes it to be legal, and ethical, and also efficient has to be - for lack of a clearer way to put it- a brainless git. Imagine an opponent holding you down blindfolded, pouring water down your nose and throat. Would you not say and do anything to avoid that? And would not vengence be the first natural reaction?

And if result is what we were looking for, at whatever cost - where the hell is Bin Laden?

We have lost so much of ourselves, have caused so much pain to so many- for what? Now we carry the baggage of their ill-will, their pain, and our own scarlet letter U, for the Unjust.

And if Obama is trying to wipe that mark off, let him. If anyone can, he can.

Crime must lead to Punishment

It infuriates me that people harangue more about immigrants who do not fit into our society, than criminals who clearly do not fit into any community. Lets see, umm.... someone who cannot speak the correct language vs. someone who will not stop carrying, and using, an illegal gun. We all know which is more alarming, yet we have people up in arms against immigrants and not a whisper of censure against how soft our system is with regard nefarious activity.

As for me, I am all for the death penalty. The man who played Russian roulette with 6 women may get 2-4 years. Is this supposed to be deterrent? A convicted child molester is let off on bail after 'doing his time' and he rapes and buries alive a little girl in Florida. They say he did his time, and earned his right to his freedom. Did someone think of the little girl's right to her life and safety? Or the right of justice for his previous victims? If you take a life, you give yours. Period. What is more fair? Rectitude of Justice demands it.

There is reason the world is assorted into societies and communities. People need that connection with each other, they need to interact. They need to laugh, cry, and grow together. With any group of people there has to be, by definition, a myriad of emotions, ideas, goals and phobias that effect all in one way or the another. And that is why it is imperative that we have rules for society. Moral and ethical rules, legalized principles and codes and yes, even traffic rules.

Everyone is bound by the rules - and the breaking of these rules must consequate in a punishment. There is no peace without order, there is no order without law, and there is no law without rules. And if we do not enforce the rules with consequences, there is no freedom for anyone. Like everything else in the world every action has a reaction. Every deed has its repercussion. Every effort has its result.

Once a rule is set, there should be no excusing its execution.We have a judiciary, we have the leeway for mitigating circumstances, we have reasonable excuses. But once it is clear that someone has broken a rule, willfully, or repeatedly, punishment has to be meted out. Maybe we could overlook embezzlement, even a burglary-but violence?? How can anyone excuse the snuffing of another life?

Why is there this trend in new age society to that it needs to rationalize the actions of lunatics? A man shoots 4 police officers and someone says he had a broken home so he had to take out his anger on someone else. Hurting someone else, let alone murder of people who have taken it up as a calling to protect and serve is unacceptable. A pedophile asks for sympathy because he was abused as a child. Oh for God's sake!! Please do not even say it. It does not take away form the horror of the crime the man commits. Personal history is not applicable in any way to the bestiality of the criminal act. No one has a perfect home life. Dominating mother, too many kids, financial problems, lazy fathers. That may excuse a few quirks, a few temper tantrums, a few depressive cycles. But there is no justification for vicious crimes. None, nada. Fate doles out a share of grief to all, albeit not equally. If one person cannot handle it, it should not become everyone's problem. I will not condone violence, even if it issues from a clinically medically insane person. There can be no vindication. Period.

What are we going to excuse next? Terrorism? After all if we go by the same demented reasoning, terrorists have had a horrid life,; they too are angry because of their circumstances. If we excuse psychopaths because of some chemical imbalance that prevents them form feeling guilt, then what will stop us from condoning a bombing because the suicide bomber was in fugue/grief/vengeful state because his family was bulldozed? Yes, the bulldozing was indefensible, but so is the bombing.

All of us have free will, and we are all blessed with some modicum of sense and reasoning at the very least. We all also HAVE to have a moral sense, whether it is religious or not. If a member of the species behaves differently than what is demanded for a safe society, they need to be exterminated. I swear I will scream next time they rationalize a rapist's actions because his mommy beat him. Maybe mommy should have throttled the life out of him. She probably saw something to beat him about. Seriously, there is no way you can explain away a perversion. Not to me. Why would you put a serial rapist in bars to be fed, clothed and cared for on our tax money? And maybe even released on some legal loophole later to commit another horrendous crime! I do not care if his mother beat him to pulp and he is 'damaged'. Castrate him or execute him. And yes, charge the mother as accessory, if she did drive him over the edge. But do not excuse his actions. Most child molesters are very normal people in regular life. They go to work, open doors for old ladies, wish you Happy Birthday if they know you( horror). Can you then say that their brains are wired abnormally, that they need to be exonerated? I have heard people say that it is society's responsibility to find a medical 'cure' and rehabilitate them. The rate of recidivism of all violent crimes is almost 100 percent. Does that not tell us something? If being caught, handcuffed, humiliated, and locked up did not change them, what will? I know no amount of psychotherapy will. If it is uncorrectable brain wiring, fry it and get done with it! If its plain malevolence, put the perpetrator through the justice system-and then get rid of him.

We should not be treating those very people with kid gloves who would rip our very hands off.

PLEASE GO TO THIS WEBSITE

http://www.peta.org/feat/ChineseFurFarms/index.asp

(warning-video is disturbing!)

Indistinct Distinction

Why is the system here so keen on making sure every person is special?? In the movie, 'The Incredibles' the mother tells her son, Dash, that everyone is special. Interestingly, the movie traces the story of heroes with superpowers who are not like everyone.

In classrooms across the country well-meaning, misguided teachers will not tell little children that they are wrong. A teacher is supposed to say "that is an interesting way to look at it", or at worst, "oh that is not entirely correct". When are you going to tell the child he is wrong? If he says that Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandmother's house to pay Scrabble - it is wrong! It is not in the story. Ask the student to write another story about Red Riding Hood and Scrabble. Do not play around with his brain saying he is right when he is not. I make it point to say, "No, that is incorrect" when I have to. I swear that children beam much more when they do finally get it right. I point out those kids who have done their work really well, but I am never going to go crazy trying to find something to say about every work that is placed in front of me. It is important for us to learn that treating everyone fairly is VERY different from treating everyone equally. I prefer being fair.

When it comes to work, by children or adults, treating everyone equally is not equitable. How can we condone this injustice to the really special individual? What motivation is left for anyone to try anything? The really extraordinary child will not be motivated to show his talents because it gets the same reaction as everyone else's mediocre accomplishments. The average kid is not going to be motivated to work harder and reach for the stars because he is content with where he is! This desperate, injudicious desire to evaluate everyone with the same yardstick-and blanket everyone with the same determination- is one reason why American children are unable to compete with the Asian children. In India, you have to prove yourself. You are not special just because your parents think you are. In China you have to prove it even to your parents! We all know where those kids reach.

President Obama is concerned - as he should be - about Americans being left behind, as they are now, because our education system needs to be overhauled. Yes it does!! Finally a leader sees the truth! It is essential to understand that education does not start and stop with schools. Like Hillary Clinton's book says 'It takes a village'. So also it will take a whole societal change for the next generation to wake up to its full potential. When guests visit with children we are supposed to grant the same freedoms to the out-of-control spoilt brats that we do to well-behaved kids. Parents send their kids to parties because all kids go. Why not see if your child has the maturity to handle the trip to that NYC club? Its the same ridiculous concept-treat all children equally. Does that not go right against the undeniable truth that no two children are the same?

I could never stand the sight of Michael Phelps. Mainly because his swimming trunks are offensively low on his hips. But what really ticked me off was his reaction on winning the record-breaking gold medal. He pumped his fist in the air and there was a disgustingly wild look in his eyes. But I also see where that arrogant aggression may have come from. Of course he is special (yes, even with that sartorial debacle of a swimsuit), but I am convinced all his coaches/teachers would not not have given him the acknowledgment he needed. Or gave him as much as they gave to lesser swimmers. Obviously he needed to shove his victory into the faces of the millions watching him. Any surprises he turned to drugs? I am not a psychologist - but someone with that kind of learning really needs to address this (Faisal?? Remember the theory has my patent!!;))

It is unacceptable that we play down the specialness of the gifted. But the attempt to make everyone feel exceptional is worse. Mrs. Incredible, like so many American teachers and parents, has it all wrong. EVERYONE IS NOT SPECIAL. And by pretending that they are, we are doing a terrible disservice to to those who actually are, and an even more terrible deception to those who are not. How can it be right? Does it make anyone feel, or be, better? Certainly not me. Tell a child the unvarnished fact - the honest truth about what he is - maybe he is a little slow in reading, maybe he cannot run. He has to learn limitations if only to deal them. Or maybe to overcome them. But do not say that he lost the race because the shoes were too tight. Or the killer phrase "It does not matter who won, you ran your best". Any idiot who has run a race knows it matters who won. Teach the child to appreciate a winner and be gracious about losing. It makes the winner feel good - and he deserves it. It makes the slower ones feel good, and they need it too.

I know there is always some talent that is unique to each one, some niche in which a person can excel. But one can never find it if we gloss over everyone with the same brush. You did something fantastic if you struggled through geometry and got it right, even if with a C. But that does not mean you are equal to the kid who breezes through with an A. Maybe the A geometry kid cannot write to save his life; well he is not special there, so do not tell him he is "good" in English class when he isn't. The volunteers in social work organizations deserve a lot of respect-but do not treat them on the same level as Mother Theresa. And just because I enjoy writing does not mean I deserve the Nobel prize for Literature. That is for someone actually special.

So please stop lying. Stop confusing kids. Stop telling them life is a bed of roses that will be laid out for them. How will we ever teach them the value of moral rectitude if we cover faults that are obvious. Dash's answer to his mother's forced and facile statement sums it all up ."Everyone's special, Dash," she says to him.To which he grumbles, "Which is another way of saying nobody is." Precisely!

Be fit, or fit in?

Why is it so important for people to look like someone else's idea of themselves? Why do we break ourselves to fit into a mould that does not belong to us?

We buy colours that are in fashion, whether we like them or not. We buy cars that go with an image created by some overpaid advertising company. We eat foods that the latest article says is the right thing to eat. We are proud that we have shunned the fetters of earlier societies, that today we have the liberty to choose to be as we will. We are free to wear, buy, and be what we want, right? Unfortunately, along with gaining the independence we prize, we seem to have the lost the ability to think and choose. Freedom of choice makes no sense if your choices are so tightly bound by the dikats of prevailing taste.

The Renaissance era paintings show full-figured women, sometimes with bulges along the waists. People say it was the 'fashion' then. I do not believe the artists were trying to delineate the trends (do artists ever?) The emphasis of pulchritude was in the poses, in the softness of expression. The allure of the portraits lies in the portrayal of comfort women had with their own bodies. Today, Barbie has made us about as plastic as herself. The impossible dimensions of the doll have become the ideal demented women to aim for - and even more insane men to expect!

The worst casualty of fashion has always been our bodies. From terrible physical trauma(running 10 miles five times a week) to sheer deprivation (pure liquid diets), we put ourselves through so much to fit into what some magazine has decided to be the look of the decade. As usual, my caveat again - if you really like to make the survival instinct of running a daily regimen - go right ahead. Enjoy the high that comes with it, but do not do it to look for something in the mirror. I love to swim. I enjoy the feel of water, and the buoyancy it gives me. I delight in the way it eases my breathing into a smooth rhythm. A few years ago, I decided I would watch the pounds fall off me too. And while I watched my weight and swam to lose those calories, I stopped enjoying my swims. It became a chore, a race with myself. I snapped myself back. I have not stepped on a weighing scale for ages now (except at the doctor's office, where I make it a point not to look at it). I do not know how much I weigh and I am very happy with how much ever it is.

One of the joys of life - eating - has been reduced to what is good for you and what it not. I have had to kick myself more times than I care to enumerate - before I could get myself out of 'this has antioxidants' rote before eating chocolates. I am not eating Swiss truffles for the antioxidants. I am eating it because I love them and because they taste great. I swear they taste better when I relish them for what they are.

Yes, we need to eat healthy, we need to eat well. It is good to add something salubrious to your daily victuals. But when we eat we should savor the food. Our diets are to nourish our bodies and to delight our palates, not medicate ourselves. Add the salad to your diet, but enjoy those fries too - at least while you still can. The physical body is going to deteriorate - whether you like it or not - whether you postpone it for another decade - there will come a time when it will disintegrate. Enjoy the candy while you have your natural teeth. And yes, brush and floss too.

Even though it is women who are more susceptible to the changing fashions of what 'you - must -be -like', men have had their share of distress. One has to be tall, and have a full head of hair (or none at all). One has to have a certain number of well-defined abdominal muscles to be considered 'fit'. Though 'fit' and 'cool' are so often interchangeable today that it becomes difficult to see what one is actually aiming for.

My husband is fixated on his belt. He moves back to tightening it and he thinks he has conquered the world. He tells me this with a shine in his eyes he has never had when I look my best! It is good to loose the extra weight that is deleterious to your well-being, but do not lose equilibrium in the process. Keep sight of what is important in life too.

As long as the body looks good, it hardly matters what is inside that head. And it hardly matters why you do what you do - as long as it gets you the right car. I was shocked when I realised that a certain type of person is expected to drive a particular kind of car. I can understand the love for a car - or to even buy a car for its value on the 'cool' meter. But to have one because 'it is what we look good in' or because it apparently says something about you is downright ridiculous. The only thing it says my dears, is that you do not have an iota of sense, or self-respect. My choice of car is dictated by what I need and what I can afford. Period. I wish I had the money to buy a helicopter. But I hope I would have enough sense not to buy it even then. I guess I can afford a Mercedes - but I am so happy with my Camry - I see no reason to buy another brand. So my second car is - yes - a newer Camry! I was told our family is the 'Lexus' kind. Apparently college-going kids should have two-seaters or convertibles. Why? And everyone should have at least a Blackberry. Again, why? My husband's Blackberry Storm only makes his work day interminable. But I can see he needs it. I do not. And the 11th grader certainly does not, however fancy he thinks it makes him.

One friend of mine went straight from 'close' to 'avoidable' when she did not buy what she herself called a 'perfect car at the right price' because it was silver and silver was so 'yesterday'. Good God! It is a COLOUR! How shallow can one get? She is a nice lady, in may ways a better person that I can ever be, but superficiality is something I have never been able to deal with. The infuriating part was that she left a chance a help out a friend with he commission he would have made on that great deal he was getting her (in these times!). Coincidentally this is the same friend who spoke of nothing but the state of her diet EVERY TIME we met! It is tiresome to hear a litany of foods one had ingested which one, apparently, should not have.

So, my very dear readers, look within yourself and look for what you want ,what you need-and go for it. Do not make yourself as two-dimensional as those lovely and meaningless magazine pictures! George D. Prenctice put it very succinctly when he said ' What we call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease'.

A sonnet

The sun rises, glowing anew
Into the day I drag my feet
With my heart so bruised and blue
I cannot another challenge meet.

Each breath I take weighs on me
Like something I have that I deserve not
In my life for all to see
Is a world by dying dreams wrought.
And yet I smile and walk and talk
Struggling on in a wild belief
Waiting for Opportunity's that one knock
Tiny hope always alleviating crushing grief.
For this I know and this I will state-
Life will not pass by those who wait.


(for more poems- visit- http://www.poetry.com/dotnet/P1898003/999/6/display.aspx )

To be or not to be?

People tell me that naturalization is a change of passport. Period. That citizenship is a piece of paper that outlines your privileges. That it is a glorified travel document. And that having one of the United States of America is a wonderful, prestigious asset. They say a passport and a piece of paper does not make you someone else.

So now I can apply for US citizenship. I can now get the sought-after citizenship. But I cannot comprehend the ease with which people switch their countries. For if that is all it is for someone - then maybe they should not have that paper at all. If being a part of bigger entity or having a specific identity holds no emotional meaning - maybe one should not have any. From anywhere. For me it is not as simple as changing the colour of your passport. For me it is a changing of who I am because it changes where my primary responsibilities and allegiance lie. It changes the 'they' and 'us ' for me. It is not a decision I can make facilely.

My nephew was born in the US and it is easy for him. When he says 'I wonder who we will elect?' I think he is talking of the Indian elections, till he clarifies that he is talking of the US ones. I say "Why don't they get it that George Bush is an idiot?", ( I am talking about Americans) and he replies, "I am sure we understand that now"(he is talking about Americans too!) Yes, its not an easy conversation for an onlooker!

Yes, we donated and campaigned for Obama. I am a die-hard Democrat. But that is because it is my country while I live in it - and I owe it my loyalty, along with the taxes. But if I promote myself from the Green card status to US citizen - I am making a major commitment. Am I ready?

In my class, the 6 and 7-year olds are mostly from immigrant families. When they say "I am Pakistani/Egyptian/Bosnian", I always and firmly correct them - "No, you are American" (they were all born here). My American colleagues find it funny that I am so particular about it. But it means something; something important - and the kids should understand it. EVERYONE should. I am glad my nephew has got it straight.

But it is not so straightforward for me. Where do I belong? I think American, I know that. Freedom - of beliefs, thoughts and words, pursuit of happiness, equality of men - these are an inalienable part of my moral compass. However, my psyche is Indian. I smile at strangers, I offer 'chai and biscuits' to everyone who comes to my house, including the plumber (granted that sometimes its soda and cookies instead). I am offended when people talk to me through doorways without inviting me in. I do not consider it a party unless everyone is dressed to the teeth. I call elders Uncle and Aunty and expect the same title from my friends' children.

This is the country that gave George Bush two terms because as long as someone else was getting bombed it seemed ok to them - until it backfired. But it is also the country that elected Barack Obama. This is the country where for most people, the world begins and ends at the two US coasts, but which ranks highest in charitable giving by individuals.

And now its time to make a decision. I love this country enough to have called it my own - but do I love it enough to repudiate my ownership of the country I was born in? Is that even possible? There is an saying in Indian that we are made of the mud of the country we are born in. Well, there is no changing the fact that I am, and will be always Indian. I cannot, will not, and do not want to change that. So will I be disloyal to India if I become a citizen of the United States of America? Worse - will I be disloyal to both countries by changing my citizenship? Yes, it probably makes life easier. But what exactly defines ease? Can I do without the luxuries and undeniable comforts of a wonderful developed nation? But then can I do without the warmth of my own people, the dust and smells I was born into?

Here in the US, you have clean, fancy doctor's offices where appointments are easy to make - but then the doctors are not a part of your family like in India - and personally, I would say, not as competent. The ubiquitous and essential credit cards make everything affordable - but then insurance for everything is like an eternal noose around your neck.

I have loved living in the country where circadian things like paying bills and addressing regular issues like insurance or registration renewals can be done without hassles. It has been wonderful to be able to get things done without bribery or rudeness. Its nice to be certain that there will be running water at home and someone at the end of the line if you call 911.

But you cannot walk into a friend's house for an informal chat. If you fall sick no neighbour is going to drop by with a cooked meal. Everyone is civil but not friendly. People smile and say hello, but if you ask one extra question they label you 'weird' and back away. In India, you can make everlasting friendships with total strangers during a short train trip.

Changing my citizenship tells everyone - and me - that I have accepted that one style of life is better than the other. And I do not know If I ready for that. Am I ready to live the rest of my life here? How can I relinquish the fealties I was brought up with? How can you forsake the culture that taught you to be who you are? Is it really so easy to tergiversate - even with such an important part of who you are? So is it really fair to yourself to get a stamp of something other than that which defines you?

I cannot deny all that I am - I am proud of being Hindustani. I would not change it for the world. I cannot change it even if I wanted to. My thoughts, ideas, attitudes, traditions are too ingrained - and I have no plans of scouring them out. So is it disloyal to change my passport?