Monday, May 25, 2009

Man or Beast?

Zoos are the epitome of man's cruelty and arrogance.
What gives us the right to imprison creatures that we do not understand, and do not care about except to subjugate? We enclose little frogs in glass cases because they fascinate us, we capture big cats to control them, we cage birds because we cannot fly behind them to observe them. We keep specimens away from their own kind, in artificial habitats , with enforced diets, so that our children will be educated, or entertained. And then we have the audacity to pat ourselves on the back for providing food and shelter. The gall! The vanity! And this is us - the species which has allowed children to starve to death is more areas of the world than our conscience should bear.
I cannot see a worse crime against a living creature than the creation of the zoological parks of the world. Say the giraffes were the upper species in another dimension. What if they tore us from our homes and had us immured in a glass home in the prairies? Would we enjoy the tapping on the glass while we had a meal? We cannot even tolerate telemarketers at mealtime!!
We all agree life is more than just breathing and eating. So why do we not grant other species of the planet the courtesy of letting them have the life we dream for ourselves? It is unassailable certitude that we are NOT doing them a favor by keeping them fed in a 7 by 7 enclosure. The fact that we have increased the number of an endangered species by breeding them in captivity is not a claim of success. It is statement on how selfish man is. First we take away everything that the species has to live for - its home, its food, and most importantly, its freedom. Then we pat ourselves our back when they manage to survive our prodding and our prying, and our 'learning'. Can you imagine being one of the few 'protected' humans with a superior species?
Each animal is special and individual -not just a representation of the whole. We point out a cheetah so happily as if seeing one, even in such grotesquely distorted circumstances, is having seeing all there is to see of all cheetahs! As if our perverted delight makes it all OK to have the animal removed from its family. In Kenya, they accept the brutal killing of a 'few lions' because the population is bouncing back. Well by that logic all human murders are quite alright, maybe necessary, considering the ridiculous way we breed!
I am sorry Steve Erwin is dead - but frankly, I find it very difficult understand how we can hero worship someone who spent his time forcing open (or shut, as the case may be) some poor crocodile's mouth, or jump in their homes for some nice camera shots. I have swum with those gorgeous rays; long before they were in the news as potential killers. It is an experience I will treasure all my life. What I came out with was a new respect for creatures that are much more graceful than us, and more gracious than we can ever be. You cannot be with them and then want to nudge, provoke, or bother them. Like so many other earth's creatures they share their habitat with us very benignly. Why would you want to break though their personal space? There must be reason God gave even those gentle beings a sharp barb.
What we call the 'wild' creatures live in their own respective worlds. They have not tried to capture, kill , outbreed, or understand us. Let us at least mirror their civility and generosity.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Cut-throat Parents

Back to my favorite topic - kids and parents.
I guess there are as many aspects to this discussion as there are parents!
So, now the children are growing up. Time for them to think about what they are going to do with their lives. Going to college is on the cards. That is an accomplishment for both parents and children. In such a promiscuous, demanding society riddled with confused notions of all cultures, if our kids come out of high school sane , and with the ability to apply for further studies, and an interest in their own futures, the battle is won. Sometimes the battle scars of school pressures are deep, yet some of us who are lucky barely have a scratch. Being of the latter, I may not be the one to discourse on how to handle situations, but here I go again!
My pet peeve - parents of other children! Seriously, why do parents deem it their right to ask vacuous, annoying questions just because their children are pressured or insecure. Like - what is your daughter planning to become? My usual answer is, "I hope it is whatever she wants to be". When the questions are too pointed and probing, I say, "A happy, caring individual". But no one seems to get it. When I told my aunt in India that my daughter is pursuing a degree in Cell Biology and Neuroscience (as of now), and she is not planning to go to medical school (as of now), she asked me what her Ph.D thesis would likely be! I am not certain she has decided on her Master's yet!!
I have written earlier blogs about it, and I shall recapitulate the same thoughts. Just because the whole world is learning ballet it is not necessary for your child to learn ballet too, and certainly not that additional something else, 'to stand out of the competition'. Our children stand out as the individuals they are. What we need to help them with is understanding themselves and making them successful at being the best they are, and being at peace with who they are.
A friend of my husband has a son ready to go on to college next year. For the past 2 years she has been asking me everything about my daughter's schedule that she could ask without being considered a stalker. Which classes she took and why? Why she was happy with taking the SAT test only once? Her son is nothing like my daughter. Why does she assume that their likes, or goals would be similar?
I am swinging between disdain and risibility with such folks. It must be so stressful trying to keep up with every child within their child's age range. They keep track of what, where, and why they do whatever it is they do. It must be ridiculously funny if all they do is just try to catch up with each other, and terribly sad if all they achieve is that they confuse their kids in the process. That son of the friend? He is compelled to be so good at everything that he does not even know what he actually likes!! I find it heartbreaking that a child can be of 18 years and not be cognizant of what he likes, or dislikes!! So his choice of career is going to be based on which field will be the highest-paying by the time he graduates college. It is an entirely new field of research for the parents now! In all fairness, they probably think I am a delinquent, irresponsible parent if I measure as success the times my daughter throws her head back and laughs with us. (Yes, with not at!!)
And, of course there are the Ivy leagues. That is also a question I have to fend all the time. "Why did you not apply to colleges with big names, miles away, where she could have easily got in?" Biting back the apt and obvious reciprocal of "How does it matter to you?", I have to explain that the operative words are - miles away. My daughter enjoys the comforts of home while she pursues her education, and we obviously love having her around too. I am sure the Big Names have something to warrant the exorbitant fees they charge to admit starry-eyed, bright youngsters. But I think learning is not dependent on where you go, it is subject to how you apply yourself. Clinton was an Ivy leaguer, but then so was Bush! Its the same range of intelligence as any other school in the world!
As I said in the beginning, I have had it easy. I have been blessed in not having had to get into power-struggles or cultural tugs-of-war with my offspring. I have not had to demand, direct, or force. She has worked her work through her school years gloriously, and has grown to be a young woman with a level head and generous heart. I am thrilled to bits! But that may not be what you would like to see in your child. Maybe you really want that full scholarship to Harvard, and you want to leave nothing to chance. Well, my very best wishes. But do stop asking me why I do not think like you. Stop asking how and why, or why not! It really does not matter. Your child is not like mine. More pertinently, your child may not even want to be like her!
The questions these cut-throat parents ask of other children - what they like, what they are working towards- are things they need to know of their own children. I would say to them, stop asking other kids and listen to your own. Take it from me, you will not need to look into other children's lives. Your own offspring are much more interesting and rewarding.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Live and let live

Why the brouhaha about homosexuality?
A friend of mine shocked me the other day by saying she would not mind a criminal moving into her neighborhood, but would move out of her house if a homosexual couple came next door.
I often wonder why people make a bigger deal about a person having a deviant form of sexuality than they do of real vileness. If we have to take a stand, why not against rapist and pedophiles? I am shocked at how vociferous our society is against gay men and women, and displays only fleeting outrage at racists or serial killers. Murderous impulses are reprehensible, being rude is bad, treating people differently because of their color or beliefs is a sin. Being gay? Its their business. And what two people decide to do between themselves should not be a third person's concern. Let us not make judgements we are not asked to make. My religion does not allow homosexuality, but it also does not permit me to decide what someone else does with their lives.
Before we take up arms against an individual's choice of a sexual partner, however strange or objectionable it may seem to us, we have to think about where we are headed with this. If we give ourselves the authority to force our convictions on those who may not agree, what will be next? Are we going to regulate what we read, or what we believe? Freedom is not issue-specific. Either you are free to choose or you are not. It is not subject to our likes and dislikes. If some people choose to behave in a way that goes against our grain, they are well within their rights - as long as they are not hurting anyone, its absolutely alright. Curtailing their freedom, denying them the choice of who to be, is deleterious to the very concept of liberty.
People tell me if we accept homosexuality today, we will eventually be asked to accept all 'other perversions'. There is only one perversion - and that is forcing someone against their will. So if a gay man assaults another , he commits an opprobrious crime, as is the assault by a straight man. But if two men want to get together, it is not a perversion - even if I cannot understand it. Labeling it perversion is a personal choice, and should be kept at that. We cannot enforce our interpretation on someone else's rationale or predilections. Its a matter of personal choice.
The basic rule for civilization is universally applicable - if it not a detriment for you, or does not affect you in a negative way, its not your right o complain about it.
Most religions clearly do declare homosexuality a sin against God. So is cheating, and adultery, and murder. Do we get so riled up about someone who lies? We do not; it almost becomes a matter of course for us, an unpleasant part of life. People will lie, and cheat, and unfortunately even kill. Why does this rationalizing not extend to homosexuality if religiosity is what is driving those who harangue against it? I, personally, do believe homosexuality to be a sin, yet I surely have no problems with being friends with people of a different sexual orientation. But I would hate to be be friends with a cheat or a compulsive liar.
So, they want to get married. Let them. I believe in the sanctity of marriage too. And I believe it is sacred enough to NOT be affected by the wedding oaths that people of the same sex might take. The sacredness of any relationship depends on the two people involved in it. What sanctity are we talking about if a husband and wife cheat on, or rob, each other? I will never understand what is so disturbing if two men or two women want to make a commitment to each other. They certainly are not asking you to commit to either of them! So what is your problem?
The test of a mature society is not on how it moulds everyone to fit its rules and laws, but on how many different ideologies it encompasses within its framework. People are not angels, we will sin. So why not let homosexuals be? They are not hurting anyone. They do not try to convince us their way is better. Who are we to force them to say theirs is worse?

Why I Write

This blog is an attempt to bring out a new twist on accepted notions of society. It is an attempt to get the reader to take off the tinted glasses and look at the world with fresh eyes. If you agree with the ideas of this blog, and think anew, I would consider myself successful. If you do not agree with the thoughts on this blog and cement your own notions, it still made you think, and my work is done.
Look at the world with a refractive lens. The truth will stand out.


If you like my blog, you might want to check out my book for children-

Enchanting Fables (PublishAmerica)