Unstereotyping the stereoptype

I heard someone say that they are colorblind, meaning that they do not see a person's color or ethnicity. I am not. I see the color of skin, I hear the inflection of the accent, I see when a person still bears some culture of his or her roots. And I enjoy it. I love seeing how different we all are - how wonderful and varied our experiences and outlooks are. I believe if you need to be 'colorblind' to make a friend you are not being honest to them or to yourself.

Stereotypes are real. There is a reason why a particular trait or characteristic gets associated with a certain sect. Obviously, it is unacceptable when we differentiate based on those stereotypes. But it is also wrong if we do not acknowledge those traits. Simply because they are there!! It's a fact.

I spoke of skin color but it applies everywhere in our lives, in every aspect. Nationalities, communities, physical sizes, intellectual identities - all have their own distinct, undeniable quintessence. Each one of us has myriad personae we project. And if as humans we cannot relish this fact and enjoy this variety we lose out life's most beautiful aspect - our differences. I want my acquaintances to notice I am Indian, Muslim, almost-fat, and that I am weirdly outspoken. I want my friends to acknowledge all the positives and negatives of my background (what negatives?!). I think people would find it easier to know me if they work with the stereotypes I project. Yes, I eat well (in terms of size of helpings!), I eat lots of spices, (brown skin) I like to save money (desi/Indian!). Where I differ in the prevailing stereotype (I am not comfortable with technology, and I do not bite into my 't's) will just make me more distinctive, more memorable to those who accost me for a short time.

We consider sterotyping damaging because of amateurish articles like this one I read online:

"A "stereotype" is a generalization about a person or group of persons. We develop stereotypes when we are unable or unwilling to obtain all of the information we would need to make fair judgments about people or situations. In the absence of the "total picture," stereotypes in many cases allow us to "fill in the blanks." Our society often innocently creates and perpetuates stereotypes, but these stereotypes often lead to unfair discrimination and persecution when the stereotype is unfavorable."

No, unfair discrimination has nothing to do with the perception we have of people. Having viewpoints, and even prejudices, is absolutely natural. But to act on them in a vile way or to arbitrarily apply the generalizations we make in our heads, is wrong. People who cannot look beyond the notions they already have when they meet an individual have more serious problems than just 'stereotyping'.

The same article continues: "For example, if we are walking through a park late at night and encounter three senior citizens wearing fur coats and walking with canes, we may not feel as threatened as if we were met by three high school-aged boys wearing leather jackets. Why is this so? We have made a generalization in each case."

Of course we have made the generalization! And that generalization makes us more careful. It is part of human nature to use experiences to make judgements. The teenagers walking towards you are also making decisions based on what they see of you. Discrimination and racism have nothing to do with sterotypes. It has to do with hate, and ignorance. We should not accept the specious explanation that what we think, unconciously at times, must translate into an egregious voluntary act. After all, every one of us has a moral map to work with. And those with deficient morality do not need stereotyping to be hurtful.

So why be afraid to stereotype? We are different, and I am sick of this 'we are one' concept. We are not. We are a whole world of different people. One world, yes, but certainly not one people. We should not need to be the same to be accepted. We must welcome and embrace our differences. It is when the differences are significant and characterestic that stereotypes arise. So how can something natural be wrong ? I find it downright dumb when people point out someone else as different. Uh - that makes you different too. By its very nature things that make anyone or anything stand apart, differentiates on both sides. Differences distinguish between two dissimilar things. Them and us. You and me. That and this. White and black. Rich and poor. BOTH sides are different.

Once a person realises this essence of variability, differences do not matter. All injustice occurs when people hold themsleves up as the right standard. And when they assume that they themselves are the correct form of humanity and everyone else is the digression. It's when such people make derogatory remarks that the problems are created. It may be a feeling of inferiority, it may be the fear of not being as good as other person. Profiling a person may help in initial assessment - but harassment solely on that basis, of course, is heinously criminal. I do not believe it to be inherently wrong to pull a coloured or bearded man over for a check - but to be rude and contemptuous, or to prolong the checking unnneccesarily is unjust.

Racism, and biased behaviour, is a horrible indication of our worst base instincts. But let us not make a facile excuse of blaming it on our tendency to sterotype people.

Love thyself?

Another wondrous epiphany today - as usual - in the daily humdrum of life. Today a friend of mine did something that is very characteristic of her. My reaction to her act taught me a new thing about people. We can really like someone, and still hold very little regard for their intellect.

My friend 'rescued' 4 little rabbits from their nest. They died within 24 hours of the rescue. I asked if they seemed distressed or in danger. No. I asked if they seemed starved or dehydrated. No. She just found the nest; and in it found cute, furry, active kits and took them. I am certain it had very little to do with compassion, and more to do with possessing something cute and wild. She calls herself an 'animal lover'.

And I sat there thinking as she struggled to play mother to the last dying kit in her palm, (which was fine until a few hours before). I could see the discomfort of the little bunny being fed some weird chemical concoction in some fancy tiny bottle, sadly dying in surroundings it could never comprehend. And I cannot even imagine the agony of the mother when she returns to her empty nest.

It really bothered me that she was concerned on how distraught her daughter was that the bunnies were dying, and she never gave a thought on how the bunnies themselves were feeling. Everyone who came by claimed to love animals (with that special kind of condescension that creeps into most voices making such statements), yet no one asked if she waited to see if the mother would come back. No one asked if the bunnies would be more comfortable dying in their own nest instead of a shoebox. How can we claim to love, when we do not even try to understand?

I realise that most of us do not even know our own intentions. That is why just being nice is simply not enough. Man has been blessed with a brain for a reason. Our actions have effects, and those effects decide if we have done any good. A good intention alone is not rectitude - it must be followed up by thought-out and voluntary action. A soft heart is of no use if it comes in combination with a soft head. One has to think, and know, and reflect, before acting. We cannot just act on the spur of the moment, even if we think we are being altruistic and kind. Our impulses, unfortunately, are usually selfish. So selfish in fact, that we do not even acknowledge it!

Nowhere is man's selfishness more pronounced than in our interactions with those we deem less than us. I have seen dogs wearing ribbons in their hair, birds being preened by rough brushes, cats being given manicures. No one can convince me that they are indifferent to it, let alone that they enjoy it!

In an earlier article, I have spoken of how we have made a mockery of what we consider 'pets'. It is all a function of our superiority complex. Of how we think we can make decisions about every living thing that we can dominate. The dysfunctional part is that we pretend we are doing good, that we are compassionate even though we cage birds that should fly, and put whales in what would virtually be a tub for for them. We must be a special kind of dumb to call ourselves animal-lovers!

So when we are clapping at the show where the elephant has been tortured into standing on two hind feet, or scream in delight at the dolphins leaping at the trainer's command, let us at least concede that we have subjugated them to our will. And not because we love them, but because we love ourselves.