I spoke today with a friend. And my whole day has already
brightened. I have not known her for long, and we do not even meet or chat as
often as we like. But I know she is there for me, and I hope she believes that
about me too. That got me thinking of friendship.
What elevates us from animals, for there are very few things
in which we are above brute animals, is not technology, intellect, or silly
things like cooking our food - it is our ability to foster long-term
relationships of a very wide spectrum; of which friendship is the noblest and rarest.
It is often
pointed out that though we cannot choose family, we do choose our friends. I believe
we do not chose friends. They happen. You meet the person you need at that
special point in your life.
That friend you grew up with who, even today, is as easy to be
with as air. School friends reconnecting after years, and bonding even more
deeply. The friends who suddenly come into your life to step in and help you
rise from the ashes. The friends you make while chatting at a warehouse. The real friends
you make on Facebook. The friends who live in the
neighborhood of your new home. The friends who begin as co-workers and become a
part of not only your life, but of who you are.
They are an inalienable part of, and the joy of, living my
life.
So how would one
describe friendship? It is knowing that the person in the other part of the equation
values you as much as you value her or him. It is complete acceptance and understanding
the core person; it is a comfort
level that does not change with seasons of status and age, or with the vicissitudes
of life and the distances it puts between friends at times. That is the
most beautiful thing about friendship- distance and time do not matter. You
pick up where you left off. Or not at all, and just start afresh.
Deep friendships require very little work, and it is the
fortunate who have those. But friendship is essential in any relationship. You
cannot be a good parent, child, sibling, spouse or coworker unless you are also
friends.
I have many people I care for, in my family and outside, and can give them no greater
compliment than that they are my friends.
“The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”
-Henry David Thoreau
