Ideal Identity

Wanting something is entirely different from knowing what you are good at. I know a girl who admitted to cooking up blood pressure readings, rather than admit she did not know how to take them, while she was volunteering at a doctor's office. She is a doctor today. Someone with such an abhorrent paucity of integrity is a doctor only because her other sisters are. It is a public joke in our circle that we should avoid hospitals when any of these sisters are on duty. The point I am trying to make is this - it is the 'being doctor' she wanted, not actually practicing the craft. I give her five years before she goes into depression or, God forbid, hurts a patient. Meeting that girl again made me more than slightly annoyed. Why do people do things for appearances? Is that why they think they were born - to be what someone thinks is the right person for them to be? I know it takes a lot of emotional maturity and moral integrity to look for you within yourself. I did talk about this in my earlier blogs. Aim for something you want to do, not something you want to be. You want to play with fabric and cuts, be a designer. Do not do it for the bow at the runway. Join a political party because you want to work for the upliftment of the country, not solely to be a senator.

But this is about more than just a case of choosing an occupation solely for image. It is about our ability to recognize ourselves, and to respect our own selves enough to follow our heart's dictates. And this brings me to something I have been trying to understand, or maybe just trying to put into a coherent thought. Who are we? Not as a community but as individuals. Each one of us is ONE person. It is not as facile as it sounds. Not us qua what our occupation or relationships define, but us in the raw; us with all extraneous layers are peeled off. The real person we are when we are alone.

I believe that if we can be exactly that same person when we are with others, it leaves a lot of tranquility and space in your mind and heart to discover other things in life. It leaves enough energy within yourself to learn new thing and grow as a human being.

How many of us behave differently in different crowds? Our reactions change when the recipient of those reactions changes. Of course, we act differently with a old friend than we would with someone we have just met, or treat a child differently from the elderly. But when our very style of interacting is dependent on who we are interacting with - when the tone, style and content is dictated by the other person - then something is really missing within our own compass. It is not a simple question of civility, for genuine civility is independent of place, time and person (idea paraphrased from Rasha's essay :))

Everyone needs approval. It is a natural human need for approbation from family , friends and society. Everyone would like to be famous, but some do drastically crazy things to get attention. It is the same craziness whether Paris Hilton lifts her dress up enough to leave nothing to imagination, and assures her photo in a magazine, or whether I agonize if I should wear the same outfit to a lunch only because someone else might recognize a repeat.

The point I am trying to make is this: What you do must be only what you want or need to do, not what will make you appear 'cool or 'fun' or 'smart' or 'rich' or whatever else an empty soul might conjure up. Lets face it- your bag and shoes will garner a comment of admiration, or maybe derision, but you are the one who wears them, so you should be the one who is comfortable with them.

Your identity is two-fold. It is a perfect state when both parts are in synchrony. One part is what you know of yourself, and the second is what is perceived of you. If you do not know the first enough to be true to yourself, or if you do not accept the persona you are, the second part - the identity you present to others - is going to be an ineffective artifice. The identity is ideal only if the person you project is genuinely you. Any other person that you model yourself after is going to be a bad remake. To make your identity genuine and ideal all we need to do is stop pretending to be anything but ourselves - that's all.

Legalize drugs

I really hope California will pass the Prop 19 vote to legalize marijuana.

For the life of me I have not been able to understand why drugs have been give such a bad name! It is as bad, or as good, as alcohol. Maybe better, because latest research has shown that for the body (and soul!) alcohol is worse. According to a study published in the Lancet " These socially accepted drugs ( Alcohol and tobacco) were judged more harmful than cannabis, and substantially more dangerous than the Class A drugs LSD, 4-methylthioamphetamine and ecstasy." To read more- http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/03/070323105029.htm

Just because we are used to seeing alcohol being served in lovely crystal , it does not make it better. It was not long ago when alcohol was illegal. But all that Prohibition did was create Al Capone, and enriched organized crime. People thought then that legalizing alcohol would create anomie and anarchy. It seemed very likely that society would degrade and decay if liquor could be bought easily from any store. We now know that has not happened. Of course, there are some who drink badly, but that is an issue of individual discretion. In fact because it is legal, and socially acceptable, it has become less pernicious. And it will be the same with drugs. Even I know that opium is a sedative, and that marijuana kills pain. If we get off our high horses and open our eyes, there may be more beneficial aspects that research may throw up.

The drug trade is driven by casual users- the party-goers who want the 'high', the Wall Street executives who unwind with the 'fix' , the teens who need to be 'cool'. The cool factor of drugs is largely because it is illegal. How many teenagers will want show off using drugs if anyone who needs them can go get them? And if its is not 'dangerous' anymore? Legalizing drugs will also bring about a consumer- driven safety catch. There will not be fatalities because some kids partied with a fatal mix of drugs that they bought from a reprobate off a street corner.

Why should we blame a product for a person's actions? People who use drugs irresponsibly are the same who smoke irresponsibly and will drink irresponsibly. They will drive irresponsibly, they will take loans irresponsibly. It is a character flaw, not a drug problem. Saying they will go and run over someone in a legal-drug infused state is ridiculous. That person has the same chance of running someone over while he/she is texting. And if drugs is what a person needs, he /she will get it- only it will be in some underhand way from some disgusting chap who is funding a prostitution ring on the side.

In monetary terms, legalizing drugs would save about $41.3 billion per year in government expenditure on enforcement of prohibition. And that does not count the resulting criminal offenses. Taxation on the trade would bring in revenue of 2 to 6 billion according to some economists. And that is the projection for the present use of 'drugs for leisure' trade. We are not even looking at any medical use research might throw up. Let the pharmaceutical companies take over and make their customary mind-boggling profit. They will also ensure a proper supply-demand, even if for their own account books. It is better than having drug lords murdering people who get in their way.

As of now, it is those of us who genuinely need drugs that suffer. I can empathize with those who need marijuana for pain management. I have suffered terrible back pain and I had the STUPID doctors here doling out 3 pills at a time because of the chance that I might sell them!! I finally got a whole lot that I needed from a doctor who knew me enough to know I was not faking pain. I am not addicted even after prolonged use,and I flushed the extra ones away. But I saw what actual patients go through.

The best part of legalization is that those vile drug cartels will collapse- so much of smuggling, killing and street gunfights will just go away!! If ONLY for that it is well worth it.

Banning drugs is not going to stop the stupid, or the troubled, or the weak-willed, from getting drugs for 'recreation'. It may not even prevent unreasonably incautious drug usage. But then keeping it illegal has certainly not helped either. Keeping drugs illegal only makes the mafia richer. It only entrenches criminality in a trade that could just as well be a regular business.

The morality of using substances that do not elicit societal approbation should not be within the purview of governments. It is an individual's right to choose. In a country that guarantees such freedom to us, drugs must be made legal.