Counting blessings

With the festival of Eid-al-Adha this weekend, and the day of Hajj the day before, prayer has been on our minds. I, on the other hand, don’t care.

I was wondering how merciful God really is. I mean, shouldn’t I have been born and lived on an island in Greece or Italy if he was really kind? And then shouldn’t everyone been born where they belonged, born free, born into the situations they wanted?

Why does the Creator not do that? Why create if not to bring joy? 

Then I begin to count my blessings- literally. So all problems, all loss, all angst, all failures, all broken dreams - all are wiped off by the miraculous blessing of having my daughter. 

So I have to shut up complaining. Somewhat. 

Because if he can do that- create and give me Rasha- why not all the much-smaller blessings I crave? 

Religion is largely dependent on our birth. Parents and place determine it almost always. There are few who look for answers and solace beyond what they were taught, and choose a path that works for them. Just like choosing a country to belong to, claiming your attitude to living (for, what is religion but the way you deal with life and death?) is much stronger and more profound.

Either way, it is very personal. Most of us do not realise how individualistic religious belief is. No two people have the same relationship with God. Even if it is the same group of principles, every person practices the tenets in a distinct way. The intensity of faith, commitment to belief, emphasis of a particular part or ritual, or a favourite prayer: it marks that uniqueness like a fingerprint.

For me, the holy month of Ramadan is important because of the social aspects - the special foods, the get togethers, the sharing, the giving, the forgiving. My version of God does not limit answering prayers in a particular month. He answers when asked. (not most of mine of course - but that is another topic, another major grouse)

I will not go into oppression, war, hunger, and psychopathy. That is failure of Man, not of any divine deity. It is we, as humanity, who have been unable to share, care, and correct.  Banding ourselves into illogical groups on skin colour, spoken language, personal belief, passport. What will it be next- style of laughter? Will we be politicising tone of voice, or bone density? 

Anyway, as I begin in my effort be thankful and to drag out some Divine mercy for me, I shall budget and plan a trip to soak myself in Aegean waters. And I am, in an invictus-kind-of-way, grateful that I can. 

healing

Whoever said time heals wounds was an idiot. Grief, loss, anger- rear their head when you least expect it. A dream, a thought, a smell rips open the scab.

There is never healing. The pain remains, and it takes that one touch - of even joy - to bring it up. Time just teaches you to accept it. Because there is literally nothing to do about it.

And let’s face it- God does not help.

What we can do is hang on to the blessings he has thrown our way (which are many, and I am thankful for those).

Relish the miracle of being with those we love, and recognize the good fortune to be able to do things that bring meaning and value to our lives.

Being taxed by taxes

Tax time!! And I am anxious and irritated as always.

What were taxes meant for? So that we contribute to help the community, build infrastructure, and strengthen our country. And maybe have something to lean on when we need to.

I have no problem paying my share. But it irritates me to shell out hard-earned money knowing it is benefiting people who need no relief whatsoever.It makes it easier when you see taxes at work—not to give a break to the super-rich but to help those who need a hand.

So here goes: I am happy to pay taxes in India. I know people who have benefited from government programs. A widow who gets a pension just because she needs it. Her husband never had a proper job, and she never worked. They never paid into any 'social security'. The security in this 'third-world' country is so much better than in my adopted country.

The useless enforced 'social security' that my husband paid into all his life, he could never use. And I cannot claim it till I have lived long enough for the stupid arbitrarily decided age. Here in India, we have free hospitals and free schools (quality of education is a different topic) for those who have no other resources. Twelve kilos of rice are given per individual for a token amount of Rs 12 for families who live below poverty level (which is very low). In my state, buses are free for women. All women, going anywhere, anytime.

This is being responsible. This is what governments are for. Yes, there will be corruption, there will be unacceptable political deals; but in general, our government must work for all people, and especially for those who cannot be heard. If this is the much-maligned socialism, I am all for it.

So as I pay my dues to the two countries I love, there is only one I willingly accept being taxed by. 

Existing, surviving or living?

Another year has ended. It is fascinating how every end really is just another beginning. A day ends as night begins, a flower dies to bring forth fruit. 2024 finishes only to lead to 2025.

One could argue, in that line of thinking, that nothing actually ends. It just changes into a new form. The sad part is that some things actually do not change at all; greed, strife, stress, oppression, hunger - all remain in the world. But so does love, compassion, friendships, and rainbows.

The imporatant question is how we have lived  the past year. Have we existed, survived, or lived?

When we have simply done our routine chores, however perfectly, we have only existed. Gotten out of bed on time, done our daily duties at home or at work, ended the day as planned. Even if we were at peace, we have simply been existing. But that linear existence is still better than surviving.

Some of us have gone through the year from one challenge to the next, sometimes accomplishing the impossble, sometime succumbing to life's trials. Persisting through losses and wins, we have simply been surviving.

Most of us have gone through the days of 2024 between these states - existing or surviving. We have all (mostly) had the relative calm of existing day-to-day, broken by the highs of success, and the lows of surviving exacting circumstances.

How many of us can claim to have been living 2024? We have only lived when we have made the choice and the effort to do what brings value to our lives. Sometimes there is a cost of time, money, or strength. But whatever the cost, the reward is immense. 

Did we live in 2024? Did we meet friends, help a stranger, renew relationships? Did we take time to be nice to ourselves, indulge, and expend for our own joy? When it comes to living, it is always through a conscious effort. It is not the unthinking dropping of a tip, it is a measured output from your budget to help someone with a hands-up. It is not a regular coffee with a regular friend, it is that making time for a friend who needs the company. It is not sending a well-meaning 'happy birthday' text, it is the effort to go  meet and celebrate when you can.

 We will relish many days of existing in 2025, we will be surviving many days in 2025, hopefully with success. But we must, if we are to live at all, learn living each day, in whatever way we can.