In close proximity

One of my very dear friends suggested I write on this topic.
It was very apt considering how close we are even though we live on opposite sides of the globe.

It got me thinking on what closeness actually means. We all have someone we like to be with, someone we want to share our thoughts and experiences with. If we are lucky we can do that on a daily basis, if not it is whenever we get to meet up with that person. Today's technology has made interaction so easy, and people so accessible, that physical proximity is not even necessary to trade stories and secrets.

All of us have at least one person we think about almost everyday, from our past or present, who in their very imago influence even our most banausic goings-on. We might buy something for a sister even when we are not sure when we will be meeting. We look at something a friend would have hated and smile. We think of something an old classmate said years ago and make a decision she will probably never know of.

Genuine intimacy is not just venting about what happened at work or at the gym. It means being able to understand what your friend is saying and going through. Sometimes you need the words, sometimes its just knowing the person and the predicament that he/she is in. Regular interaction is not even necessary. I have friends and cousins I meet very rarely but when we do its like there was no gap in our connection. We pick off not where we left off, but right where we are! The ease of talking is only matched with the contentment of knowing that you have someone who knows you, who actually cares.

Some of us have the unmatched blessing of living with our closest friends - be it a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or a child. But then we have close friends who live nowhere near us.

And that is where real friendship is tested. It's not only that they are in your thoughts. It is that you have them in mind even when you make decisions. You imagine their reactions or advice even when you might not have them at that time. I have many times discarded an outfit knowing my mom would not approve. It is the same as my daughter making me buy a shirt I probably would not have considered. My daughter is with me, my mom on the other end of Earth - but they have the same effect on me! (It's a different matter that if both were shopping with me, I would simply be the unimportant, non-participating person who holds the credit card!)

And how can we talk about any kind of social interactions without mentioning Facebook? Yes, I am a Facebook addict, and happily so. I have met friends I had lost touch with for years. And with so many of them it is as if there was a blinking of time that we were not in touch - because they were always in my mind. All that was needed was filling in gaps of where one is in life now. There was no need to build a relationship. Actual closeness means just that. The relationship never fades.

Then there is another kind of camaraderie, probably a new kind , that is engendered by this wonderful networking website. I have friends now who mean a lot to me, people I have never really met but have a deep affection for nevertheless. I learn so much from them as I learn about them, that bonding falls in place naturally.

Togetherness does not require that people be together physically. Of course nothing will ever compare with actually giving someone a hug , or seeing them smile or sharing a coffee. But it is nice to know that someone we love and care for, if not close by, will always be close to us in every other way that matters.