Since we started with kids in my last blog, let's continue.
So what is a rude kid? I think there are no ill-mannered kids, there are only very retarded parents.
Parents who do not discipline their offspring are the curse of civilized humanity. It is the responsibilty of parents to tell their children off when they impose on other's ring of privacy, comfort, and ettiquette. It is not cute if a guest-child plays sword fight with a host's indoor palm; and the mother who smiles at said child lacks not only any modicum of decency, but also suffers from certain mental ineptitude.
How can it be good for child not to know the boundaries of behaviour is a society? A child is a learning machine - not only of speaking and reading, but of societal norms. We concentrate so much on preparing a child with speaking, walking and reading, that we we ignore what a child is really paying attention to: non-verbal language. A smile of approval, a bored look, a 'that-is-enough' tone. We buy all the Baby Einstiens we can see, but we do not teach a child not to push to get to dessert first. A child learning to wait for a parent's permission learns self-dicipline, learns to understand authority, and develops emotional intelligence. It gives the child a structure to grow upon, and to depend on.
I cannot fathom how people who have never met your child can guide you on how to deal with bad conduct. I actually found a website that gives harrowing advice including listing the behaviours and finding a 'pattern'. If your child is driving you to make lists maybe you need to grow up yourself. You are the adult, and more importantly, the parent. Make sure the child knows who is in charge.
There is no justification for a badly behaved child, and a parent has no excuse in allowing that to happen.
Sarah, it was a pleasure reading this blog. And I totally agree with you. I have been in similar situations and like you I have never ever been able to fathom why parents behave like this. And its so true that this is how children learn self- discipline and learn to understand authority. It can be tough for some parents who have children who are hyper but its not right to take the easy way out of ignoring their behaviour and allowing them to do what they want.. especially in others houses!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhile I was reading this I cracked up. It reminded me of a humorous anecdote of some counselor saying that, "jee aap kai bachai ko psychiatrist kee nahin, aslee Pakistani maan kee zaroorat hai."
ReplyDeleteI always found it so strange when parents feel helpless and afraid of their children. Sarah dear, I soooooooo agree with you that there is a tremendous lack of mannerism in kids. After spending some time with kids in school, I always feel sorry for those kids who absolutely have no idea where they are leading to. Unfortunately there is no connection between parents and their kids due to which kids astray from the right path.
Keep writing Sarah to make us think more.
Hey Sarah, I think it's wonderful that you created a blog. It's a wonderful way to capture your thoughts as a snapshot in the many moments of our lives. Kudos! I think looking back at what you've written will the most telling and enjoyable part of this all...just like old pictures from our past :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this excerpt. Especially the part about kids not being the root problem...it's the retarded parents. Kids only take cues from their parents and if the parents are not mindful of their reactions and actions, kids will be only the product of their ineptness. Yes, granted some kids are more "difficult" than others, but it takes a good parent to understand their child and work with them individually. Unfortunately, most parents don't take the time or energy and instead try to control or in the worse case scenario, actually become a child with their child. And I got to tell you, I hate when parents try to be their child's "friend" or someone of their equal. Kids don't want their parents to be friends, they want them to be their guardian, their protectors, their confidants, and their role-models. Parent's should not confuse being a friend with being all the other things that a child needs. Someone with authority, understanding and most of all patience. Loved your thoughts!